A few weeks ago, when the protests over the death of George Floyd broke out all over the country, I found myself on the edge of hopelessness.
I felt completely overwhelmed by the pain and suffering that was erupting out of people’s hearts about the pervasive racism in our country. I wanted to do something to help, but was engulfed by the fear of doing the wrong thing.
My instinct was to get small and hide within myself but I made a choice — a choice to stay open, to be in the pain, discomfort & fear and then to challenge myself to find ways to make a difference and I know that in order to create change we need to do more than feel, so here’s the question I asked myself:
-How can I be a force of good during this painful time?
• One, educate myself better about racism in our country. Learn, learn, learn. We talked about it as a family and I asked my parents, who is better read than I am, about the best books they would recommend. We chose Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison as our first family book to read and discuss together.
• Two, be a meaningful source of support to black friends and colleagues in my life who are all struggling with so much pain, trauma, grief, exhaustion and sadness right now. I reached out to a close friend who is black to ask how she was doing and tried to listen with an open heart, without aiming to fix anything or make her feel “better.” My conversation with her was ultimately a gift to me and taught me so much. It made me realize that I can use the emotional health and leadership skills I teach and my platform, my voice and my heart to be a force of good right now:
-By helping people to become a better emotional ally, to stay open in their heart, to be in the discomfort and the pain, and to be a meaningful source of support to their black colleagues, friends and community members, all of whom are struggling so much.
This is how you can be a force for good
I recognize that this is just one part of how we can be meaningful allies to make things better. This is critical work. In our homes, workplaces and hearts. It involves being open to the discomfort and fear — of saying the wrong thing, of not doing enough — learning how to listen with your full being and hear things that are difficult to hear and leading with compassion above all else. It also means being willing to learn a lot, including about your unconscious biases.
I’m up for doing the work and I hope you are too. I want to do everything I can to help us all do it better, together.
Let’s be forces of good, together. Let’s stay open and not hide. Let’s do the work so we can do our part, to bring about change.
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